If I Die Young
by Cassie Faith
Summary: She clutched that tattered bear close to her chest; sobs hitting her fragile frame like a mighty title wave… all he could do was watch, from afar, and feel as if it was all his fault. Implied Jalex. Oneshot.


**[A/N] My first WOWP tale. Okay, I wrote this at almost 1 a.m. and also wrote it as it hit me AND it took about 40 minute in total to write it… this is also the first one-shot I've done in about 6 months. Enjoy. **

**Title: 'If I die Young'**

**Summary: She clutched that tattered bear close to her chest; sobs hitting her fragile frame like a mighty title wave… all he could do was watch, from afar, and feel as if it was all his fault.**

**Author: Cassie Faith**

**Note: this was inspired by the (amazingly-beautifully-painful) song 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry. If you haven't checked it out, please do. Also, this is not a songfic, verses are used, but this isn't a songfic. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and original characters.**

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_Part 1: This Hurts worse Than giving Birth_

Alex stared blankly at the wall, Justin sat next to her… both were in utter shock. Theresa, Jerry, and Max had all gone to get some air. It had been a crazy 3 hours. Alex suddenly raised her hand and swung at Justin, but her devastation prevented it from making contact with his face. Sobs consumed the 21-year-old, Justin let her melt into his embrace and lap. Soon, they were both wailing, not sobbing, both were wailing loudly and without mercy. They'd lost the most precious thing they had ever know to touch their lives.

"This hurts worse than giving birth… I thought no pain could rival that." Alex scoffed, her eyes puffy and red as she was trying her best to keep from sobbing long enough to pick out a nice Bible verse for the funeral.

"How do you think I feel, Lex? _She was my daughter too…_" Justin asked agitatedly from his seat at the kitchen counter, but softly spoke the last part due to the fact their parents were just a few feet from them.

"She was your niece, Justin." Alex looked up at him with those eyes that screamed 'Not now'.

"Okay, Elisabeth was my niece… my precious baby girl…" Justin got chocked up, and walked out onto the terrace to keep his pain private.

"_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_lay me down on a bed of roses_

_sink me in the river at dawn_

_send me away with the words of a love song…"_

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_Part 2: Genetics mean Nothing to Me_

Alex had gotten pregnant at 18 after she and Justin got rip-roaring drunk on a night they had the house to themselves. Guilt racked them horribly. They'd went to a local church and talked the situation out with the pastor, he helped pray with them for forgiveness, and all was good… until Alex's period didn't come.

They formulated a plan. Justin would transfer to NYU from Yale, and take care of Alex in a brotherly way, and be an awesome Uncle to his niece or nephew… no one knew the truth.

Elisabeth Mae Russo was born on a warm June day just a month before Alex would turn 19, and Justin 20. Everyone thought it was odd she wanted Justin in the delivery room, but his excuse was simple, and earned respect from all the nurses, the doctor, and their parents.

"Genetics mean nothing to me."

Elisabeth was perfect. Alex said the almost 20 hours of labor (with no pain medication) was worth it; beyond belief was it worth it. The beautiful babe had so much of Alex in her they could have been twins… she really didn't get anything from Justin… but he didn't care. His daughter was a gorgeous work of art, created by one hell of an amazing woman. And later that night Justin knelt next to Alex's bed and thanked her, with sweet tears, for their precious miracle in the basinet next to them.

Alex now kicked herself for even leaving the room that day. The doctor said it was instant, Elisabeth didn't suffer at all. Alex also cursed herself for buying that stupid 200 lbs dresser in the first place. She was even upset that she'd absentmindedly threw Elisabeth's toy on top of it, and that the little girl had to reach for it while she was out of the room… how was anyone to know that dresser had weak legs… and badly needed to be bolted into the wall… no one told Alex that.

"You were a good mom, for what it's worth I guess." Justin joined Alex on the couch where she sat drinking wine straight from the bottle. It was the night before Elisabeth's funeral, and the loft could not be more quiet.

"Thank you. You were a fantastic dad." Alex smiled up at him sadly. The clock next to the TV shown 3 a.m..

"Will we ever get through this?" Alex asked staring at the bottle in her hand.

"I hope, someday." Justin replied wrapping his arms around a beginning to sob Alex.

"…_the sharp knife of a short life_

_well I've had just enough time…" _

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_Part 3: 'Regret, Love, Acceptance'_

'Our Lost Angel

Elisabeth Mae Russo

June 12th, 2010 - August 24th, 2012'

That is what was written on her headstone...

Theresa and Jerry took Harper and Max out for a bite after the service, they needed to get out. Justin and Alex stayed at home, they needed time, well Alex said she did, and of course Justin stayed to keep an eye on her.

Justin was watching some TV, a commercial for dog food was on, but he really wasn't paying attention. Soon, sobs floated through his ears, recognizing who's they were he rushed up the stairs to Alex's room. He paused at the door and saw that Alex clutched that tattered bear of Elisabeth's close to her chest; sobs hitting her fragile frame like a mighty title wave… all he could do was watch, from afar, and feel as if it was all his fault.

Justin entered the room, tears in his own eyes. The two of them embraced and fell into a fit of sobs together. They stood like that for almost an eternity. Holding tightly onto each other as they mourned the death of their child. It was so much, even too much.

"It's my fault… I should have stopped us that night." Justin cried out.

"No! Don't you dare say that!" Alex composed her sobs to scold Justin.

"Why not? God did this as a punishment for what we did!" Justin spatted back.

"No, He didn't. Wanna know why?" Alex pulled back to look Justin full on in his puffy and red face.

"Why?" Justin asked sighing.

"God doesn't make mistakes… Elisabeth was not a mistake." Alex smiled sorrowfully.

"She was a gift." Justin stared off thinking about the late child.

"A mother should never have to bury her child." Alex looked up into Justin's eyes and he saw sheer hurt and panic in her stare.

"No, a mother shouldn't." Justin managed to get out before the two of them fell to the floor sobbing harder than before.

"…_Lord make me a rainbow _

_I'll shine down on my mother she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors_

_oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be_

_no it ain't even gray but she buries her baby_

_the sharp knife of a short life_

_well I've had just enough time_

_If I die young, bury me satin_

_lay me down on a bed of roses_

_sink me in the river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song…" _

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**Please review if you liked : ) **


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